Thursday, October 27, 2011

Homeless=We Ignore Them

I have a confession to make. I used to ignore, if not look down a bit on homeless people. This is not something I am proud of, and not something I know I am alone in doing.


After spending 7 years living in Portland, I grew quite accustomed to seeing homeless people on the street all the time. According to HUD’s 2008 Annual Homeless Assessment Report to Congress Oregon led the nation with the highest homeless population so it is no wonder that I was seeing them everywhere. In Oregon I primarily saw young people, and there was one that I will never forget. Every 9 months or so she would be pregnant with a sign reading "Homeless and Pregnant" standing on a busy street getting money from people who felt bad for her. I judged them and her, and grew to be a bit hardened.

When my grandmother came to visit me, I hated that the homeless youth were asking her for money. And when one of my best friends, who could be one of the nicest people ever would give the homeless money, I would give her a hard time.

Now don't go thinking I was a super callous chica, I bought meal tickets and tried to give them out, but was refused multiple times.

I had a mind shift this spring when I read this article in UU World magazine. It is written by a minister, Victoria Weinstein who states that she never passes up an opportunity to interact with another human being. Going so far as to carry a stack of ones in her car for people standing on the side of the road. Now I don't know about you, but in the past I would roll up my windows and try to look real busy while hoping the light would change stat. 

Ms. Weinstein chooses to interact specifically with the homeless and states "I find, perhaps not surprisingly, that people on the street are far more honest, open, and attentive than their ostensibly more together and successful counterparts, whose attention you might sustain for a few minutes between phone calls and texts and important obligations. My practice of responding to everyone with equal attention is about trying to live more fully into religious commitments around justice, equity, and compassion. But I also do it because I’m lonely and I want to see what can happen, how I can be brought into human relationship by making myself available to it wherever that might occur."

After reading this article it resonated with me, and who I want to be. I want to be the person who respects the inherent worth and dignity of every person, homeless or not. And I echoed her feelings of loneliness in this busy chaotic world.  So I began purposely trying to carry one dollar bills, and while I will not be taking any homeless to lunch any time soon, I try to give them out whenever I see a homeless person.

I have to let those of you that were like me in the past in on a little secret.

It feels damn good.

There is something about connecting with and acknowledging a person that most of society doesn't acknowledge. Try it, you just might like it.


Some of you out there may be saying "But they are all drug addicts/losers/so different than me." But are they that different? They are mothers, and brothers, and sons, and daughters, and really who the hell are we to judge them.

They all have a past, from veterans, to being laid off, their stories may surprise you. According to this article in the LA Times, women veterans are among the rapidly rising homeless population. Homelessness among female veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars has increased every year for the last six years from 150 in 2006 to 1,700 this year  according to the Department of Veterans Affairs.

Point being, they all have a story, and it is up to us to judge or not to judge, but I feel we all have a responsibility towards each other. We should take care of each other, because we are all we have.

As congresswoman Janice Schakowsky (D-IL) states "There is a lot that happens around the world we cannot control. We cannot stop earthquakes, we cannot prevent droughts, and we cannot prevent all conflict, but when we know where the hungry, the homeless and the sick exist, then we can help."

My challenge to you, whomever has happened upon this blog, this holiday season is thus:

Reach out and make a connection with a homeless person, if only for a moment. If only for dropping 25 cents in their cup, but still looking them in the eyes and acknowledging their humanity. 

And who cares if all they really want is a beer. Haven't you had days like that?






Monday, October 10, 2011

Come on out!

In honor of National Coming Out Day tomorrow I have a couple of thoughts to share.



I am a bisexual.

Myths about bisexuality that drive me crazy:

1. Bisexuals are just "experimenting or confused." - No. That is called "Questioning." It is offensive that people do not respect that people can be attracted to both sexes in a healthy way.

2. Bisexuals are really homosexual, they just can't admit it. - See my response to #1.

3. There is always a chance that a bisexual will leave their partner/cheat with a member of the opposite sex of their partner.-This is a myth propagated by MTV. There is just as good of a chance of a straight person cheating on their partner, so why does it have to be about gender. If a person is going to cheat, they will regardless of sexual orientation. There is no scientific evidence that bisexuals do it more.

Now I have some general comments to the straight people of the world.

When you meet me, please don't ask why I am single, and why I haven't found a husband yet? My co-worker is convinced that I need a husband and tells me so every day. I wonder what her reply will be tomorrow when I tell her, maybe what I need is a wife?

Do not assume that everyone is straight. Because you will be surprised.

If you find out one of your friends of the same gender is a bisexual, do not recoil and tell them "I could never do that." Duh that is why you are straight.

On the same vein, just because your bisexual friend is attracted to the same gender that you are, does not mean that they are attracted to you. Your friendship is still the same.

Feel free to ask questions, but think about them a little first, shoot, do that with everything.

What if we all took a few seconds to think before we spoke. And to put ourselves in others shoes. Maybe more people would feel okay to come out of the closet, because it is a dark place to be.